Do You Ever Feel Lonely
by Suroun
Summary: Pearl visits the Big Doughnut.


"Pearl, please, please, pleeease come with us!" Steven begged. Pearl had no interest whatsoever in going to that grease-trap convenience store, especially when Amethyst was coming. She just knew she would try to goad her into eating one of those disgusting round pastries. Steven loved them but Pearl couldn't quite stomach the idea of eating a doughnut.

"You won't have to eat anything, I promise!" Steven assured her. "Ooh, and Connie is supposed to meet us there too!" Pearl looked into Steven's pleading eyes and she just couldn't say no. Besides, she hadn't seen her student in a few weeks, and she had some apologizing to do. A blue tinge colored her face and her eyes swam slightly as she thought about the rather serious injury she had inflicted on her protégé earlier that month. They had been engaged in a ferocious duel when Pearl's sword had entered Connie's left shoulder, dangerously close to her heart. Fortunately, Steven had been able to heal her but Connie's strength hadn't completely returned yet. Pearl still felt terrible about the whole situation, as the two had grown quite close. Connie wanted to fight, and she had to be ready, but Pearl had begun to fear for her safety over time, as she had become almost like a daughter to her.

"Alright, very well," Pearl agreed. "I would like to talk to her and see how she's feeling." Stars filled Steven's eyes and he grabbed Pearl's wrist and the two set off for the Big Doughnut.

"Amethyst! Pearl said she'd go!" Steven yelled to the small purple gem, who was currently shape-shifted into a small dog and chasing her tail.

"Whoa, really?" Amethyst popped into her normal form and starred at Pearl in surprise. "Way to go P, I knew I'd get you to eat something one of these days!" she grinned, slugging Pearl in the shoulder. Pearl looked at Amethyst in annoyance.

"I won't be eating today Amethyst", she stated haughtily. "I'm going to check on Connie, and that's it!"

"Oh." Amethyst said, a little disappointed. She normally would have been angry at Pearl for snubbing her, but she saw how upset she had been when she accidentally hurt Connie, so she decided not to press the issue. The two gems walked in silence the rest of the way down the boardwalk. Pearl was holding her arm and looking at the ground. She shouldn't have snapped at Amethyst, but her guilty emotions were making her even saltier than usual. Amethyst occasionally tried to catch Pearl's gaze. Why couldn't she get Pearl's attention? She wanted nothing more than for their relationship to be the way it had been…

"I wish Garnet was here!" Steven piped up, trying to ease the tension a bit. "Too bad she had to go on that solo mission."

"Yeah", Amethyst said, cheering up a bit. "It was probably another giant foot!" she grinned. Steven laughed at the old joke as he opened the door to the Big Doughnut. The Gems walked inside and Amethyst immediately ran and jumped up on the counter to order her usual baker's dozen of chocolate-glazed doughnuts. Connie jumped up from a table near the door and ran to greet Steven and Pearl. Steven squeezed her tightly and Connie stifled a pained gasp.

"Oh, your arm! I forgot!" Steven quickly apologized.

"That's ok, it's just a bit sore. I should be able to start training again in a few weeks!" she smiled brightly up at Pearl.

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Connie. Perhaps I've been training you too quickly", Pearl said sheepishly. "These things take time, and you've been advancing so fast I sometimes forget that you haven't been training for long at all. I'm very proud of your progress, but I think we'll try and take it easy for a while when you return." Connie beamed at Pearl's praise, and though she wanted to argue that she didn't want to return to her more basic training, she respected her teacher's decision and agreed. Pearl was relieved to see that Connie held nothing against her and was happy to see her again. Steven and Connie walked up to the counter to get their food. Connie bought a glazed doughnut for herself and a strawberry sprinkle one for Steven.

"Do you want anything, Pearl?" Connie asked.

"Oh, no thank you." Pearl declined. But then she noticed a large bottle in one of the refrigerators. "What's that?" she whispered in Steven's ear.

"Oh, that's just some 8Oraid." Steven explained. "It tastes like strawberries. Why don't you get some? I bet you're thirsty after that long walk." Pearl apprehensively agreed to try it. It wasn't really food right? Pearl took a small sip of the strange pink beverage and was surprised to find that it wasn't bad at all. She actually really liked the sports drink and she had downed it before she knew it.

"What do you mean, you're out of the chocolate doughnuts!" Amethyst shouted to their right, leaning on the counter and kicking her feet out behind her like a little kid.

"Sorry Ame", Sadie said, but you just ate the last of them.

"Ooh, I'll go check in the back!" Steven volunteered. He entered the break room and stumbled upon Lars stepping methodically around the floor with his arms held up as if he was holding something. What on earth was he doing? He peered around Lars and saw a dance video playing on the small television. It was, a waltz? Stars filled Steven's eyes. "Hi Lars!" he waved. Lars whipped around and glared at the smaller boy. "I didn't know you wanted to learn how to dance!"

"What, no!" Lars yelped, fumbling to turn off the T.V. "I don't dance, I was just working out my biceps!" Lars made arm curling motions, but he didn't have any weights.

"Right, sure!" Steven teased, high-fiving Lars' chest. "But if you want to learn how to dance, I know just the gem!" Steven ran off to the main area of the store and Lars sank into a chair, mortified. What was he going to do! He couldn't let this get out; he could never show his face in beach city again! Anger burned up in his chest. Steven was going to ruin everything! He was going to kill that little…The door opened and Steven walked back in with Pearl in tow. Pearl looked at Lars, looking more than a little uncomfortable and Lars stared back, his face twice as red as his hair. What was he thinking practicing at work! Someone was bound to find out! Then again, Lars didn't have a VCR at home.

"Pearl, this is Lars!" Steven said brightly. "He wants to learn to dance, and you're the best! You could teach him!" Lars racked his brain for any excuse to get him out of this mess, but came up empty handed. Pearl sensed his discomfort and said nothing, avoiding eye contact.

"Steven if you tell anyone else I'm going to…"

"Do what?" Pearl's head snapped up and she glared at him defensively. Lar's face fell slightly and mumbled, "Please Steven, you can't tell anyone." He decided on the truth. "I invited Sadie to the prom and then I realized I don't know how to dance, and I just don't want to embarrass her!"

Lars looked off to the side and Pearl told Steven it might be best if he went back to sit with Connie. Pearl came and pulled up a chair beside Lars, sighing.

"I apologize for Steven, he didn't mean to embarrass you." she assured him. "He meant well." She paused for a moment, turning a slightly brighter shade of blue. "But if you want to learn, the offer stands." She stood up to go and walked to the door.

"Wait, I'll do it!" Lars spoke up. He surprised even himself. If anyone had told him he would ever be taking dance lessons a week ago, he would have told them they were crazy, but he was crazy enough about Sadie to ask her to the stupid prom, so he was determined to show her a good time.

"Alright", Pearl smiled slightly. "When is this ritual dancing event scheduled?" she asked, suddenly all business.

"Oh, um…the prom is in three weeks." Lars answered.

"Can I meet you here and show you the way to our home tomorrow around 8:00 A.M.?"

"Uh, I have school through the week and then I have to work, but we could meet in the afternoons around 6:00 P.M."

"Agreed" Pearl nodded and walked out of the break room. She ordered Amethyst a couple more doughnuts to go and purchased an extra bottle of 8Oraid before leaving. Lars sighed in relief as he stepped out of the back and watched them go. What on earth had he gotten himself into?

The next day Pearl came to pick up Lars and the two walked back to the temple. Pearl figured she would take him to the sky arena where she and Connie normally would have been training in the afternoons. Lars didn't seem happy at all about his current situation, and followed Pearl at a distance. Hopefully no one would realize they were together. When the massive stone statue of the giant fusion came in to view, Lars couldn't help but be awe-struck. Steven lived here? What was this place?

"Um, so is this your place?"

"Oh yes! Isn't the temple magnificent?" Peal gushed with pride. She turned and looked at him expectantly, clearly wanting a response.

"…Yeah, it's really something", Lar's mumbled apprehensively, staring up at the stone structure and rubbing the back of his head. The imposing statue of what looked like some sort of two-faced Hindu goddess worried Lars a bit. Was this some kind of a cult? He felt a little sick to his stomach at the thought. He began to have second thoughts about trusting this woman, but he didn't want to seem paranoid so he followed Pearl up a sandy hill and up into the tiny beach house that the goddess seemed to be holding in its lap. To Lar's surprise, the interior seemed perfectly normal for the most part. It was bright and open, and the atmosphere made Lar's instantly feel at ease. It was hard to imagine a cozier little place to live. The only thing that seemed to be off about it was the purple crystals jutting out of a wall, and a door with a star with gemstones on each point.

"Come with me", Pearl directed him toward a flat stone surface on the floor beyond the kitchen counter. Lars nervously obeyed and joined Pearl on the warp pad. "Please don't let this be some sort of altar." He thought, holding his breath. Pearl activated the teleportation device and Lars felt his feet leave the ground with a yelp of surprise. He was suddenly surrounded in a stream of blue, purple, and pink. "What's wrong?" Pearl enquired sympathetically.

"What's going on!? Where are you taking me?!" Lars wailed, the panic rising in his voice.

"An ancient sky arena." Pearl answered simply, as if that was just as normal as taking someone to the grocery store. "There's not much room in the house, but there will be plenty of practice space there."

Lars, unable to make heads or tails of what he was currently experiencing, just gulped and nodded, hoping the disorienting sensation of weightlessness would come to an end soon. It did, abruptly. Lars landed hard and toppled to his knees. "Ooff", he grunted as he rose to his feet, rubbing his kneecaps gingerly.

"Sorry, the landing can be a bit rough when you're not used to it." Pearl apologized.

"Yeah, no kidding." The teenager grumbled angrily. He was a bit frightened by all this magical stuff, and his frustration was beginning to show. Lars wasn't one to fully believe in magic, but couldn't think of any other explanation for what he was seeing and experiencing. Pearl strode gracefully to the center of the area as Lars slinked over toward her. She turned on the tip of her toes and faced Lars, excitement written on her face. She had never attempted to teach anyone but Steven how to dance, and, well… he had a… interesting… style of his own.

"Shall we begin?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." He answered, hunched over and looking rather disgruntled.

"Well, you might want to start with your posture", Pearl laughed lightly, adjusting his shoulders. "Stand up straight and keep your shoulders back." She said kindly. "So, Steven told me you were trying to learn how to do the waltz?"

"Well, I need to know how to slow dance. It doesn't have to be a waltz, and honestly I don't want something so stiff and formal anyways, but I didn't know where to start."

"Alright, I'll walk you through the basics. First, place your hand around my waist like this" Pearl mimicked the motion and Lars put his arm around Pearl, feeling a bit awkward. "Then just hold my other hand" Lars fingers interlocked with hers and Pearl let her opposite had rest against his arm. Pearl and Lars practiced methodically for the next two hours. "One. Two. Three. Four. One. Two. Three. Four." She taught him different ways to position his arms in order two twirl, spin, and dip her. She taught him to keep his upper body relaxed and his motions controlled. Leading was the one part he couldn't seem to get the hang of. He wouldn't step in time without Pearl's direction, making this movements clumsy and heavy-footed. Pearl tried to explain the concept to him, but it just wouldn't click in his mind. Lars eventually said he needed to go, but Pearl had one last idea. "Wait here" she insisted, rushing back to the warp pad and leaving Lars to contemplate his progress. He was a fast learner, for sure. If he could get this one thing down in the next couple of weeks he'd be ready. He just hoped Sadie would be impressed. He wanted her love and approval so badly. What if he stepped on her toes the way he'd been doing to Pearl all afternoon? At least his teacher was patient with him, but he didn't want to mess up the real thing.

"Garnet, where are you?" Pearl shouted throughout the temple. Pearl hoped a demonstration would help Lars understand what to do, but she couldn't find the fusion anywhere. She must have gone back out at some point.

"Yo, P, keep it down, I'm trying to sleep and Garnet's not here."

"Oh, that's too bad", Pearl replied, a bit disappointed. "But I could actually use your help with something. Do you know that young man from the Doughnut store?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"I'm teaching him how to dance and he can't quite get the hang of it. I was thinking you could help me demonstrate. " Amethyst sat up strait, and stared at Pearl. Was this for real? Did Pearl actually want to dance with her, maybe even fuse?" Her heart leaped at the thought.

"Yeah, ok, whatever, you done went and woke me up." Amethyst rolled her eyes and followed after Pearl. She was ecstatic and imagined that maybe Pearl just wanted an excuse to fuse, which was ok with her. Being Opal was one of the best feelings in the world, and although she would never admit it, she wanted so badly to believe that Pearl felt the same way about being fused with her.

The two gems arrived back at the sky arena and Pearl explained that she and Amethyst were going to demonstrate what it meant for one to "lead" another in a dance. Pearl lead and Amethyst followed. The twirled around the arena gracefully, Amethyst syncing with Pearl's style as much as she could, but incorporating a little shimmy here and there when the opportunity presented itself. Before they knew it they were engulfed in light and Opal stood where they once were. Lars' jaw dropped as he starred in awe at the enormous and beautiful fusion, who felt both shocked and elated at the same time. This felt so wonderful; the slave and the mistake were gone and it was just Opal. Someone entirely new stood in their place. However, she fell apart again almost as soon as she had formed. Pearl hadn't meant to fuse, and though she was pleasantly surprised, Amethyst felt rejected because she had sensed Pearl's shock and knew that she had not wanted to form Opal. She just looked at her with pain in her eyes, and quickly excused herself. Why wouldn't Pearl open up to her? They used to be so close…but after Rose died everything changed.

"What on earth was that? I've never seen anything like it!" Lars exclaimed. Pearl began to tell him all about fusion, how it worked, how you disappear and become someone else completely. "How does it feel?" he asked, hungry to know more.

"You forget who you used to be", she explained. "Everything that used to hold you back is gone. You're not afraid anymore because you're not who you used to be; you're a part of something bigger. Sometimes, you're lonely even when you're around people, but when you're fused you don't feel lonely- even when no one else is around."

"Yeah, that sounds pretty amazing. Hey, um… could we practice one more time before I leave?"

"Certainly." Lars took Pearl's hand and attempted to lead the dance. He spun and dipped her to the best of his ability but he hadn't improved in the slightest. He clumsily pulled her into himself and before either one of them knew what had happened they were both immersed in a warm and bright glow.


End file.
